I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
