Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
