So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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