in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
