Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize