That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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