There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
