community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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