dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
