i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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