So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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