to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
