hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
