i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
