remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My vagina is very pro this idea
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
