I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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