i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize