Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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