you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
