I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
