I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
