She is in my trunk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
