My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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