Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
