we have pet lesbian snakes
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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