i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
