I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
