I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
