I just saw a hot homeless man
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
