Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You pole danced in your parka.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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