But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
