I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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