No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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