Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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