just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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