those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
