i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
