that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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