Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
