Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
