if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
