how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
