I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
home. puking in laundry basket.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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