like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Houston, we have a squirter
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
