we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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