12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just threw up on my dentist
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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