I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
They are going to name an STD after you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
