He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize
