Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
