Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just invented taco cereal.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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