Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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