David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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