I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize