sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
