Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
