Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My bed smells like the plague
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
