first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
