More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
