South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
