she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
