Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
