i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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